My kids and Chris are my entire existence, and my oldest son is about to tie the knot at the end of the month. I am so excited for the kids to start their lives together, and so happy that my Zackie has found ‘The One’.
I was at the wedding shower a couple of weeks ago, and we were asked to write advice to the couple on how to make a marriage successful. I didn’t have a whole lot of time at the shower to come up with some good ones, so I figured I would use this little place in cyber-space to make my list for the newlyweds.
I don’t consider myself an expert on marriage, I have been married twice, but this time it will be 20 years in June. And I have learned so much that I want to share these little tips Chris and I have tried to master over the years with you Zack & Mary.
1) Always say your sorry. If you screw up, take the blame.
2) Date night, make time for you two, now it’s easy. But once the kiddos come along is when you will REALLY need it. Do it as often as possible.
3) Love with all your heart. It will hurt sometimes, but, if it’s not with all your heart, it’s not worth it.
4) Surprise each other, little gifts are always an awesome thing, and it can completely turn your day around. Even a post it note that says I love you in a hidden away spot.
5) Be each others best friend. Be able to tell each other EVERYTHING. In a marriage if you have to hide it, it shouldn’t happen.
6) Sometimes things aren’t so great, but this too will pass. If you want it to be Happily Ever After, you have to put a little work into it and fight for it.
7) Give and take, if things get one sided where one is always giving and the other always taking, it doesn’t end well.
8) No matter how hard it is, try and see things from both sides. If you can’t, ask your partner to explain it until you can see it.
9) If I had a dollar for every time my mother said “Communication is key.” I would be a rich woman, but you know what? She was absolutely right.
10) Patience, patience, patience. My Grandpa Stobbs always told me “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” LONG before Kanye did. and he was sooo right.
11) Never miss a chance to tell each other you love them.
12) Do things together as much as possible. The more you’re together the more you remember why you fell in love in the first place.
13) Hold each other.
14) Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree.
15) Don’t try to change each other, grow together.
16) Compliment each other.
17) Understand everyone has their bad days, even the love of your life.
18) Thank each other, even if it’s just for doing dishes that night, it’s always good to feel appreciated.
19) A relationship is built. It’s always easier if it’s both of you, but sometimes it will be only one of you, and that’s OK too. Just keep building, and the other will catch up.
and last but certainly not least
20) Remember you can’t read minds, don’t assume that you know what is going on in your spouses head, ask, you may be surprised and awed.
You two will officially be a team come March 28th. And if you continue to grow and learn together, you two will do amazing things. I love you both from the bottom of my heart and want you to have everything good I have ever experienced and more. There’s no I in team kiddo’s, well there’s no we either, but you know what I mean
Now go out make make some awesome!!